Sometimes, as we work so hard to achieve “success” we are kind of setting ourselves up for failure.
Success is this nebulous thing we are trying to find, on a lifelong search to be bigger, better, faster, more.
We are inundated with messages that we are not enough, not smart enough, not rich enough, not pretty or thin enough, not successful enough, not… enough.
What if we were already enough, just as we are, today?
We try to keep up with the Jones. Yeah, they are on Facebook and Instagram right now showing us just how rockin’ their life is. So much better than our crummy life. We’re not even really sure why we just know it’s better.
I have something shocking to tell you, ready for it…
Your Jones’, have Jones’.
I have yet to meet the person (who is not an ass) in this world who believes they are the ones we aspire to be. I am blessed to have an eclectic mix of people in my life and not one of them has ever said, “Yup, I’m the bomb” everyone has their own struggles, they just might not publicize them for the world to see. They go quietly about their lives, working toward the best version of themselves.
So you can’t control the world or social media, but you can control YOU
To get ultra clear on where you want to get and what is in your way try these simple steps:
1. What does success mean to you?
Where are you trying to get to? Success is not a location but it’s not entirely a journey either, the adventure is how you get there but without the destination, you are just out for a walk. You will never get to a destination you don’t set, be super clear on where you are going.
2. Be as specific as possible!
Specificity creates opportunity. The more specific you can be the clearer your target will become. How much money do you want to make? How will your lifestyle change? How do you want to spend your days? What will you be doing with your time? Get very granular on the details and create your destination checklist.
3. For each goal identify the stuff in your way.
So right now you are either very excited or very depressed. You’re welcome or I’m sorry depending on which side you happen to be sitting in at the moment. For each of your goals make a list of all of the stuff in your way. Our brains are great at that. List all of the obstacles you see between you and the success you are looking to create.
4. Are the obstacles real?
The clever brain that found those problems is also remarkably resourceful in convincing us that these problems are both very real and very insurmountable. The problems will only ever be as real as you perceive them to be. I’m not necessarily suggesting you sit around and meditate or do affirmations but if you look at the obstacles objectively you may find that many of them are not entirely real.
5. Can you prove It?
One of the reasons for the belief is that you can probably find proof that it is real. You have bills that show up, your funds are running low therefore you have proof that you don’t have enough money, need more clients or have to keep that job you hate. Isn’t it nice when you are right?
6. What if it could be easier?
Do you have ANY proof that the obstacle is not entirely real? If you look I truly believe you can always find proof.
Over the last few years, I have had a remarkable thing happen to me fairly regularly. Every now and then I will get stressed about money, worrying that maybe I am just on a lucky streak and that money may become a problem in “the future”. It was a vague fear that was very real and proven to be true years ago. I will sit and stew about this fear and poof…money will actually show up.
Not millions, yet, but good chunks of money either in the form of new business, an unexpected check, a deferred payment, I am amazed at the number of ways money will work to find me. So now every time that happens I look at the check or print out the web transfer, I hold the proof in my hand and say out loud, “Why do I worry, money is actually chasing me, stop playing hard to get”
Since you have the list of problems anyway start to look for proof that the problem is not as powerful as you believe it to be. The more the proof piles up the more the belief about the obstacle will start to shift.
The truth is, neither belief is real, the belief only has the power you give it. The Boogeyman and the tooth fairy are equal, if you have the choice, choose the fairy.
7. Watch Your Thoughts
Not to go all “The Secret” on, you but your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your actions, your actions dictate your results. The old belief was created in an instant years ago but you have spent a lifetime nurturing it, your instinct is to feed it every day.
As you begin to find proof of the new belief the old one will realize that it should move on since the two of you are no longer compatible.
Like a long overdue breakup it hurts before, it is scary and painful in the middle and there are great things waiting for you on the other side.